Heritage Bathroom

My wife has been nagging me a lot these days.

She has this silly notion that we need to redecorate our bathroom after living in our house for only about 20 years! Sure the house is about 50 or so years old but bathtubs were bathtubs way back then.

Oh I get the argument that "bathroom redecorating always provides significant returns in home value" as if that is to make me feel better when I have to write a big cheque to a contractor.

Tankless hotwater heaters for instant and continous hot water, a whirlpool, body spa, heated towel rack, heated floors, fog free mirrors...you name it, she wants it.

She must think I am made of money. Doesn't she remember that I am a pensioner and am watching my pennies, especially in Windsor with all of the money that our local politicans want to spend playing entrepreneur with our tax money!

You know in the end that she is going to win out....I know it too. So I started thinking how I could get some extra money, particularly without working.

I have such an interesting life that I read Council Communications for excitement. Oh you can laugh all you want but it hit me. I knew how I could get all the money I wanted to redecorate to keep my wife happy and not worry about spending money.

All I had to do was to try and get my house designated as "heritage." It would be easy after that.

Now I have to admit that I have not looked into it fully yet but if my house was a Heritage property, then

• "municipalities [can] provide tax relief to owners of eligible heritage properties. The legislation gives municipalities the option of passing a by-law to establish a local program to provide tax reductions or refunds to owners of eligible heritage properties...municipalities can determine the amount of tax relief they wish to offer (between 10 per cent and 40 per cent)."

It got better especially if the value of my home was increased by the renovations

• "Some municipalities... have used these powers to provide "Conditional Heritage Grants" or tax back grants to qualifying property owners. The grant is equal to the amount of the annual increase in the municipal portion of the real property taxes for such property that is the direct result of a re-assessment arising from an approved restoration/rehabilitation project. The amount of the grant is calculated to match the increase in property taxes that would result from improvements to the heritage property."

If that was not enough, then there was the piece de resistance, the ultimate boondoggle. I thought I had died and gone to heaven:

• "The council of a municipality may pass by-laws providing for the making of a grant or loan to the owner of a property designated under this Part for the purpose of paying for the whole or any part of the cost of alteration of such designated property on such terms and conditions as the council may prescribe."

Taxes reduced by up to 40%, no tax increase because of the bathroom improvement and then having it all paid for by the City as well. I thought that I could get a heritage designation for my house easily enough. It met a number of the criteria. However, I needed the help of someone who had gone through the process.

And there she was in the Communications Package:

MARY ANN CUDERMAN

She owns the McGregor-Cowan house on Sandwich St. and has applied for grants and loans for her house. Actually, it is used as a commercial establishment as well, her bakery.

I noticed that she had received money from the City on several occasions:

• $87,900 for a loan/mortgage
  
• $17, 630 grant for a cedar roof (I was not sure if she also got a requested interest free loan in the amount of $5,876. However the City newsletter said "When the cedar shingle roof needed replacing, Cuderman turned to the City for funding, and received it.")

Now she wanted 25% of the cost of restoring the main entrance door and sidelights of the house or $826.88. Normally only 15% is granted I read but that amount can be increased depending on the circumstances. In fact, the Heritage Planner even suggested adding a 5% contingency. Now that was very helpful too!

I saw that she had in the past appeared

• " before Council to speak in support of the use of the Ontario Heritage Property Tax Relief Program as a pilot project to assist the owners of designated heritage properties in Sandwich, and states that based on her own experiences with her property, it is definitely costly in terms of maintenance and rehabilitation, and this program would encourage people to conserve their properties."

I have decided that I am going to go to her bakery one day soon, buy a coffee and brownie and see if she can give me some help in filling in the application for my wife's bathroom restoration extravaganza project. My wife will be so pleased

Heck, I may even call the Bridge Co. after that and get them to make their Bridge "heritage" too. Then they can approach Eddie for their multi-million dollar restoration on the old bridge after the Enhancement Project is completed and get the City to help pay for it!

I better act fast though...I want to get there before a good part of Sandwich is declared "heritage." With all of the City-paid fixing up, there won't be a contractor left within 200 miles of this place to do the bathroom.

Isn't heritage wonderful!