Monday, June 4, 2007

Eddie's Sense Of Humour


I have a riddle for you but I'll ask it at the end of this BLOG.

Come on now....Eddie is really not the serious person that everyone thinks he is. The guy could match Seinfeld on the stand-up comedy circuit if he wanted.

Oh sure, you want proof. Well how about this. His City Hall Agendas are a joke. You remember the stats about the time in camera and the time in public. Those stats don't actually mean much given how insubstantial the items are that are placed on the public agenda.

Let's talk about the June 11 Agenda that was just posted. Actually this one is quite substantial. But the joke is, if what Councillor Jones said is true at the last Council meeting and nothing changes, a number of Councillors will be away and not in attendance.

Don't you get it, some items that are vital to Windsor and its future is scheduled by Eddie when the full number of Councilors will NOT be there. Isn't that hilarious! A real knee-slapper. Nothing like making it obvious that Councillors have no value.

Frankly the big joke is: WHO NEEDS WINDSOR COUNCIL ANYWAY!

Now let me talk in detail about the Agenda to demonstrate how funny our Mayor is.

COUNCIL AGENDA

FOR MONDAY JUNE 11, 2007

PLANNING ADVISORY COMMITTEE

PAC 1 1690069 Ontario Limited, rezoning, 800 Wellington Avenue, add supplementary regulation to the by-law permitting an adult entertainment parlour as an additional use - deferred

ADMINISTRATIVE ITEMS


GENERAL MANAGER, CORPORATE SERVICES

Item 12 Business Case Study - Windsor-Detroit Tunnel

GENERAL MANAGER, PUBLIC WORKS

Item 1------ Business Case Study - Options for Windsor Airport
Item 3----- 686, 718, 738, 750, 778 and 784 Indian Road - Request Exemption from Demolition Control By-law and Interim Control By-law for the Olde Sandwich Towne Community Planning Study Area
Item 4----- CQ28-2007 Public Hall/Entertainment Lounge Issue
Item 7----- Olde Sandwich Towne Community Improvement Project Area and Terms of Reference for the Community Improvement Plan
Item 8 CQ47-2006, 3465 Wilkinson Lane, Outlaw Biker Clubhouse

Surely you can see how funny these excerpts are and how Eddie must have been wiping away tears of laughter as he helped put the agenda together. Let me explain some of the Council jokes to you. You'd have to be an insider to understand some of them:

1) The request for an entertainment lounge for the gay bar, the Wellington, was deferred on the Agenda, while the Bridge Co. on a US holiday had to send in their lawyer to beg for one for its item. What a hoot

2) Two major deals for Windsor--the Tunnel and airport lands--are presented with no financial information presented at all and with few details given about what is to be done. Trust us on this is effectively what the business case studies are saying since they are so lacking in detail. What a laugh

3) The Bridge Co. request to demolish homes is presented on the same day as Sandwich residents will come in force to discuss the Olde Sandwich Towne CIP. Two conflicting groups going head-to-head. That's how to make sure that people come out to oppose the Bridge Co. plans so Council can turn down their request and avoid any "fault!" Laughter and tears together at once

4) There will be huge opposition to the Bridge Co.'s demolition in Sandwich while at the same time Council will be asking for demolition of the Outlaw Biker Clubhouse since its an eyesore and a nuisance and for public safety reasons. I hear that Dan Stamper is a practical joker too. He may rent out his homes as Administration is suggesting but to the Outlaws! Heck the homes can be fixed up once they are designated as "heritage" through grants from the City. Even the bikers need a place to hang out

5) The biggest farce of the evening is the Council Question dealing with the Public Hall/Entertainment Lounge Issue. This is called how to screw a local businessman who has spent a few hundred thousand dollars to force him into bankruptcy. It really is all about the Junction and George Sofos.

Now I was going to suggest that George get his Federal MP to help out to get some clout on his side but according to the Star, "former city councillor Brian Masse, who lives nearby, [and] neighbourhood groups launched a campaign against the licence application and it was denied" when he tried to get a liquor licence before.

However, some good news for George. On a clear reading of the definitions of Entertainment Lounge and Public Hall, I do not believe the City can stop him once he gets his Public Hall Licence! While the City may "consider" that a Public Hall with a dance floor and music is an Entertainment Lounge, the definitions are clear that it is not.

Anyway, I hear that his property is probably "grandfathered" if he can ever get in front of City Council to tell them that. Perhaps Councillor Postma who asked the Council Question could introduce a Motion about that so he can get on with business finally before another business in Windsor is forced to close!

At least in this case, there is a happy ending!

Here is a riddle that is going around the schools of Windsor:

WHAT HAS TWENTY LEGS AND IS INVISIBLE?

The answer comes this afternoon

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