More Windsor Marriage Bureau Stories

Still no investigation by the Windsor Star about what went on at the Marriage Licence Bureau during the strike. No point in embarrassing City Hall when the re-election campaigns are going to start soon.

I wonder if Edgar's 1000 page Strike manual covered a possibility of something going wrong there. No matter. Just gives me another excuse to write a Marriage Licence Sitcom BLOG.

These are real stories. Honest.

I just have to twist them around a little bit to fit into my proposed Sitcom to give them a Windsor flavour. What do you think?

I DO, DO, DO, DO

In Windsor, make all the women in your life happy!

Marry as often and as many as you want during a CUPE strike.

No one will ever know.

DID SHE GET A WINDSOR LETTER ABOUT HER MARRIAGE

I never considered movie star marriages for my Sitcom. How about this as a premise:

• "Drew Barrymore "doesn't know" if she is single
  
  Confused Drew Barrymore claims she “doesn’t know” if she is single.
  
  But the twice-married star, who has had an on-off relationship with actor Justin Long, does not want to have a baby as a single parent.
  
  Asked if she is single, Drew said: “I don’t know. I’m not anything."

Do you think she received a Windsor letter in the mail? Perhaps that explains her condition. Is she married now or is she single?

What a Sitcom episode this would make

BIGAMY LEGAL DEFENCE

If you think that story is a mind-blower, consider this:

• "Polygamy charges thrown out against B.C. religious leaders
  
  Criminal polygamy charges against B.C. religious leaders Winston Blackmore and Jim Oler have been thrown out.
  
  B.C. Supreme Court Judge Sunni Stromberg-Stein made the ruling Wednesday in B.C. Supreme Court, said Neil MacKenzie, a Crown spokesman.
  
  Blackmore and Oler filed separate court petitions seeking to quash the charges against them. Blackmore is the leader of the fundamentalist commune in Bountiful, B.C.
  
  Blackmore, 52, and Oler, 44, were charged in January with one count each of practising polygamy, charges that were recommended by special prosecutor Terry Robertson — the third outside counsel hired by the Ministry of the Attorney General to review evidence gathered during a two-year RCMP investigation."

The charges were thrown out on a technicality.

However, consider if they had received a marriage licence during the City strike and then sought to marry again.

Wouldn't their defence be that there was a screw-up in Windsor such that they were not legally married. Therefore, when they were married for the "second" time, it was really the "first" time because their other "first" marriage was not valid! Case dismissed!

DIVORCE AMERICAN STYLE

It's their fault for getting married in Vancouver in the first place and not Windsor. I have no sympathy.

• "Gay U.S. couples can't get divorces for Canadian marriages
  
  Some same-sex couples from the U.S. who got married in Canada are running into trouble getting divorces, according to an Oregon lawyer.
  
  Gay couples have been flocking to cities like Vancouver with its large gay community since same-sex marriage was first legalized in the summer of 2003.
  
  Several of those couples have since approached Oregon lawyer Beth Allen looking for a divorce, but Oregon doesn't recognize gay marriage, or divorce, so they can't get a divorce there, she said...
  
  Henderson has this advice for gay Americans looking to marry here: "I would say not to do it, because it is, at this point in time, such a procedural bar."

Pshaw..no worries in Windsor. Since they may not have been legally married, they do NOT need a divorce!

A NEW BOOK TO READ TO ANNE'S DAUGHTER

Anne Jarvis talked about reading the book, "The Paper Bag Princess," to her daughter at bedtime.

It was a book about a Princess who lived well, lost it all when a dragon destroyed her castle and took away her Prince whom she was to marry.

In the end, after the Princess saves him,

• "the ungrateful cad tells her she looks like a mess.
  
  Elizabeth lets him have it: "Your clothes are really pretty, and your hair is very neat," she says. "You look like a real prince, but you are a bum!"
  
  She doesn't marry him."

Hardly a good ending in this day and age. Apparently, there is a revised edition of the book for Anne to read.

In the revision, the Princess takes the Prince to Windsor to get a marriage licence here. At the wedding ceremony in the Royal Cathedral, just before the Princess is to say "I do" she says instead "The licence is invalid" and runs off with the stablehand!

You cannot make this stuff up. The Network Execs just won't believe it either. No one would! That's what makes it great TV folks!

MARRIAGE TV IS BOFFO BOX OFFICE

Oh, I see that some of you are snickering, thinking I have no chance. Well marriage shows are HOT now baby! Jerry Seinfeld is coming out with one called "The Marriage Ref."

It is based on a real situation just as mine is:

• "How did the concept of the show come about?
  
  This is straight from Jerry's [Seinfeld] mouth. The way the show happened, Jerry was with his wife in their apartment and they got into a difference of opinion about something and the usual thing starts. A friend of his wife was there. The friend was like, "Maybe I should leave" and Jerry said, "Nope. I'm glad you're here. I want you to referee the difference of opinion. I'll say my side of the story, my wife will say hers and you just call it for one side or the other and we're done with it." And the friend declared a winner, they were done with it and it was fantastic."

The envelope please. And the winner is...