What I Learned In School Today

Information is exploding around us. We just need to know where to look to find it

YOU CANNOT SUCK AND BLOW

According to Councillor Valentinis at the last Council meeting, one of his law school profs told him that you cannot suck and blow at the same time.

That may be true but my law school prof told me that you can blow hot and cold with the same breath. Try and you will see I am right.

The laws of physics therefore are as adaptable as is our Procedural By-law.

SHORT TUNNELS

As I blogged a short time ago, it seemed to me that the DRIC road with its short tunnels, or shunnels, was very similar to that which Sam Schwartz was going to propose in his many times rewritten report, at least according to Gord Henderson.

My moles have told me that Sam's report was not available until now since they were having a tough time distinguishing his short tunnels from those of DRIC.

Apparently recently, there has been a major break-through.

While DRICs short tunnels will be called "shunnels," those of Sam Schwartz will be called "Schwunnels."

LITTLE PEOPLE

Leona Helmsley, the "Queen of Mean" died recently. She was quoted as saying "only the little people pay taxes"

If she had lived in Windsor, I think that line would have changed slightly. She would have said "only the little people pay levies"

LIAR, LIAR

Fire chief Dave Fields may be asked to open up a new fire sub-station outside of the Council Chambers every Monday night.

Its function would be pour water on any "PANTS ON FIRE"

OUR GRAND PRIX PRIZE

Someone told me that there was a multi-page feature in the Detroit paper over the weekend on the race.

Now I do not get the paper so I do not know the answer. However, my informant demanded that I ask my readers to try and find a reference to Windsor in it other than on a map.

What a spoiler for us. If true, it is an F1 $US80,000 disaster for us on a scale of F1-5 with F1 being the worst. We did not even make it to the checkered flag. DNF in other words. It is the pits.

We clearly did not have enough horsepower to do better. No doubt about it, we got lapped. No pole position for us. We got throttled!

IMWTK

I wonder if the Tabloids will cover the expoits of the Ministry staff as they dig through WUC's books and records.

I wonder if the City Sloganeeers would like this moniker as the new motto of Windsor: "IMWTK---Inquiring Minds Want To Know"